Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, or ???

I need help.

A quick perusal of current newsy websites reveals that there’s a whole lot of Dumb out there in today’s political world, possibly more than at any time in the entire history of the planet, maybe even of the universe. I collected a mere eight samples (in roughly  eight minutes, give or take a few seconds), and in that process I saw nothing, not a single headline, that made me think ‘Hey – Smart!! Finally!!

So here they are in no particular order. See below for my rankings of each, also the pattern I may have uncovered.

1. Darrell Issa Calls For Government Shutdown If Hillary Clinton Is Not Charged

2. Climate Denier Marco Rubio Tries To Tackle Toxic Florida Algae, Is Baffled By Cause

3. David Whitney: Government Should Be Christian-Only

4. Laurie Higgins: ‘Obama Dishonors National Park Service’ With Stonewall Memorial

5. Birther Bradlee Dean Says Obama Support For Clinton A ‘Psyop’ Operation And Deal To Secure Pardon

6. Ann Coulter: Donald Trump Is Just Like Abe Lincoln Fighting Slavery

7. Pat Buchanan Warns ‘White America Has Begun To Die’

8. Eric Trump tells Fox News his sister Ivanka would be their father’s ideal running-mate: “She’s got the beautiful looks!”

What I did was examine the ideas implicit in the thought process of each of the eight named characters and then rank both characters and ideas based on whether they were Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, or ??? (i.e. whatever’s the word for Dumber than the Dumbest). When I finished and checked my results, I spotted a problem: all eight wound up tied as number eight of eight in the Dumber than the Dumbest [???] category, even as the Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest categories remained blank, empty. If all of that actually defines a pattern of any sort, I guess it would be that most (maybe all) political news that’s not about the Juno Jupiter Probe is, well, parcel solely to the Dumber than the Dumbest imaginable human’s . . . umm . . . intelligence . . . mental . . . brainy . . . sigh. I give up. I need help!

Not sure where I went wrong, but I do know when to toss in the towel. Meanwhile, any and all who might stumble upon and read this post are invited to take a shot at it. Best of luck; it ain’t easy.

So be my guest, have at it.

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About frugalchariot

How Frugal is the Chariot That bears the Human soul. (Emily Dickinson)
This entry was posted in Politics, Teh Stupid. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, or ???

  1. Claude Robichaux says:

    First thought was anything “Anne Coulter …. (insert anything)” is going to be vying hard for dumbest. Then, I tried to find at least one that wasn’t the worst and almost settled on Eric Trump’s comment because, after all, he was saying who Trump’s best running mate would be (and not the country’s (best)) even if it was based on looks (and she’s good looking), so I was going to give that some truthy-points (tho still dumb as dirt) but then it hit me -that’s his damn sister, dafuq is wrong with that family?! -both father and brother hubba-hubba’ing after the sister/daughter. smh
    -that still doesn’t answer the question though …. back to the drawing board, armed with graphs, power plus presentations, pie charts, lab mic and my new patented Dumb-O-Meter …. (the mice are for lunch) …. ….

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