“The Donald” for President (?)

A Moment’s Halt–a momentary taste
Of BEING from the Well amid the Waste–
And LO!–the phantom Caravan has reach’d
The NOTHING it set out from–Oh, make haste!
(The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam; v. XLVIII
Transl. by Edward Fitzgerald, 1872)

When Donald Trump jumped into the Clown Car, he left a fairly lengthy “speak” for his audience, an audience which contained, apparently, more than a few local-vocal actors who were each paid fifty bucks to applaud him and cheer at appropriate times. I didn’t watch it (because timing is everything, don’tcha know); I invariably prefer 1970’s Hawaii Five-0 or M*A*S*H reruns to any of our modern era’s political speak. Besides, thanks to the interwebs the whole panoply of speaks is always real-soon-available in print form, so there’s no need to listen to any of those (extremely irritating!) Clown Car voices. Plus, a fast skim-through allows one to ignore all the buffalo chips and get right to the essence. Which doesn’t exist anyway, so a good rerun or two is always worth a “Yah, maybe later” asservation. Or something like that.

Ergo: what I’ve done here — for anyone who happened to oversleep, doze off, or otherwise somehow miss the Donald-speak — is to present the last several lines of this classic Trumpism, words which, in effect, ‘trump’ all of the yak-yak which preceded them. It’s a summary. Sort of. It’s still OK to skim-through, though (I know I did), because the . . . ummm . . . “substance” (so to speak) will still be there tomorrow. So. Carry on, but use caution — don’t trip over the buffalo chips; I tried to work around them, but . . . well, you know.

[. . . ]

So, just to sum up, I would do various things very quickly. I would repeal and replace the big lie, Obamacare.

I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively, I will build a great, great wall on our southern border. And I will have Mexico pay for that wall.

Mark my words.

Nobody would be tougher on ISIS than Donald Trump. Nobody.

I will find — within our military, I will find the General Patton or I will find General MacArthur, I will find the right guy. I will find the guy that’s going to take that military and make it really work. Nobody, nobody will be pushing us around.

I will stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons. And we won’t be using a man like Secretary Kerry that has absolutely no concept of negotiation, who’s making a horrible and laughable deal, who’s just being tapped along as they make weapons right now, and then goes into a bicycle race at 72 years old, and falls and breaks his leg. I won’t be doing that. And I promise I will never be in a bicycle race. That I can tell you.

I will immediately terminate President Obama’s illegal executive order on immigration, immediately.

Fully support and back up the Second Amendment.

[. . .]

End— end Common Core. Common Core should— it is a disaster. Bush is totally in favor of Common Core. I don’t see how he can possibly get the nomination. He’s weak on immigration. He’s in favor of Common Core. How the hell can you vote for this guy? You just can’t do it. We have to end education has to be local.

Rebuild the country’s infrastructure.

Nobody can do that like me. Believe me. It will be done on time, on budget, way below cost, way below what anyone ever thought.

I look at the roads being built all over the country, and I say I can build those things for one-third. What they do is unbelievable, how bad.

[. . .]

Save Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security without cuts. Have to do it.

Get rid of the fraud. Get rid of the waste and abuse, but save it. People have been paying it for years. And now many of these candidates want to cut it. You save it by making the United States, by making us rich again, by taking back all of the money that’s being lost.

Renegotiate our foreign trade deals.

Reduce our $18 trillion in debt, because, believe me, we’re in a bubble. We have artificially low interest rates. We have a stock market that, frankly, has been good to me, but I still hate to see what’s happening. We have a stock market that is so bloated.

Be careful of a bubble because what you’ve seen in the past might be small potatoes compared to what happens. So be very, very careful.

And strengthen our military and take care of our vets. So, so important.

Sadly, the American dream is dead.

But if I get elected president I will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before, and we will make America great again.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

WOW! There it is in all its majesty! I can only say thank YOU, Donald! And let me be the first here to say wow, just WOW, what a speak you spoke! I am so excited as to be overwhelmed! I am, in fact, so excited that I have produced for your use a DONALD TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT poster, and there is no charge! Understand how perfectly it fits! The image is, after all, that of a Polynesian Ki’i (Tiki, or god), so it automatically becomes a very simple presentation of your candidacy’s godlike essence!



Tiki at Kona 3FOR PRESIDENT!


Hmm. Well, at least they got the hair right.


About frugalchariot

How Frugal is the Chariot That bears the Human soul. (Emily Dickinson)
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