Yesterday, Rick Perry announced his candidacy for the 2016 presidential contest. He’s one of potentially 20, maybe more, blank slates that have jammed themselves into the Republican Candidate Clown Car. One thing’s certain: Rick is, so far, the standout passenger, the only one wearing glasses. That should hold till Jeb climbs on board.
In 2010, as a run-up to his failed 2012 attempt at presidential candidacy, he published a book entitled Fed Up!: Our Fight to Save America from Washington in which he laid out in considerable detail his amazingly narrow view and understanding of the Constitution. A recent post on Think Progress listed nine completely bonkers things Rick Perry believes about the Constitution and discussed each of them in reasonable detail. Each item in the list, as follows, is pretty much self descriptive, remarkably incriminating, and strongly suggestive of yet another outbreak of Wingnut Dementia. TP calls them “some of Perry’s more surprising beliefs”; I call them crazy and ignorant.
1) Social Security And Medicare Are Unconstitutional
2) All Other Federal Health Programs Are Also Unconstitutional
3) Federal Clean Air Laws Are Unconstitutional “Nonsense”
4) Federal Education Programs Are Unconstitutional
5) Nearly All Federal Laws Protecting Workers Are Unconstitutional
6) Federal Financial Reform Is Unconstitutional
7) Voters Should Not Be Able To Choose Their Own Senators
8) Taxing Investment Income Should Be Unconstitutional
9) Activist Judges Are A Serious Problem
I guess I could at times agree with number nine (Citizens United comes to mind, also the SCOTUS assault on the Voting Rights Act), although I’m sure that he and I would tend to define “Activist Judges” far differently (I’m being kind, I’m sure). Overall, though, Rick’s candidacy once again brings to mind Robert Burns and his 1793 “tribute” to Commissary Goldie’s Brains. There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that Burns simply got the name wrong, that he really intended to dedicate it to Rick Perry, the future Texan who was planing to announce his electoral fantasy some 222 years down the road. So what say we change the title from “On Commissary Goldie’s Brains” to maybe something like “On Rick Perry’s” . . . ummm . . . “Brain?” and then carry forth without further ado.
“Lord, to account who dares thee call,
Or e’er dispute thy pleasure?
Else why, within so thick a wall,
Enclose so poor a treasure?”
Burns may have gotten the name wrong, but even so, he managed to perfectly describe Rick Perry, and with only 24 words! Me, I only hope Rick’s middle name begins with the letter ‘I’ — maybe standing for something like, say, “Indicted.” That would expand somewhat the subtleties of meaning implicit in the letters R.I.P. when applied to Republican presidential aspirations.